It's just one of those days
by The 5th ARISU
Summary: The Akatsuki need soldiers, and we're ripe for the picking. My friends Kate, Hamish, David, Oliver, Keely, Stephanie, Marshal, Victoria and I have to survive the tests that they set, and why not have fun while we're at it? Give us your worst, Akatsuki!
1. Why me?

**It's just one of those days… **

A/N I swear to fucking Jashin, I'm writing ANOTHER Naruto story! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

Never mind, Naruto is my overall favourite anything. ^o^

- I feel like walking the world, like walking the world -

**My POV**

"I feel so pretty! Oh so pretty! Oh so pretty, and witty! AND GAAAAAAAAAY!" I sang, prancing from English class with the very amused Hamish, David and Kate.

"Georgia, you're crazy." Kate shot me a weird look. We had just watched part of West side story.

"I have no idea how I became friends with you." Hamish almost doubled over with laughter.

"I think it was black mail." David laughed.

"PSH, NO! It's because I'm unbelievably amazing in every way." I sniffed. They rolled their eyes and Hamish pushed me into a bush.

"FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" When we finally reached the lockers, they were as crowded as always. I quickly grabbed my art things and Lunch and followed Kate, David and Hamish out the door. I suddenly crashed to the ground, a heavy form encircling my waist. My books went sprawling across the ground.

"OMFG YOU FUCKING WHORE I WILL MURDER YOU WITH A VERY POINTY STICK GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU SHORT BITCH I CAN'T EXPRESS MY UTTER LOATHING FOR YOU THROUGH WORDS RIGHT NOW XFEQBQPRBHPQBHGQBHQBJHEJQ RUSSIA, GET OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" I yelled, squirming in the older girl's firm grasp.

"B-but America~"

"DON'T YOU 'AMERICA~' ME!" I hit her over the head several times and she detached herself to go hug a different girl, my friend China.

"IYA!" China squeaked. Her black hair flicked Russia in the face and China rushed away.

"Better you than me, Steffi!" I called, Stephanie being her real name. I returned to David and Hamish as Kate rushed to join us. My jeans and hoddie were now slightly dirty and there's a hole in my converse now. I was receiving weird and confused looks from other students as they too grabbed their lunches, but most people were used to Russia attack-glomping me. She may be in a different grade, but they knew her well anyway.

"OI! DAVID!" I heard a male voice behind me. It was our friend Oliver, or more commonly known as Itachi. Probably because he also had pretty black hair.

"Hey 'Tachi." Kiffy sang.

"Oh hey Kiffy. Oh, did you get attacked again?" He asked me. I shot him a look and he backed off to instead go tell Kate Naruto spoilers. I saw two smaller figures emerging from the same building our lockers were in. It was Victoria and Marshal, returning from Japanese class. They were younger, but still an integral part of our group. Victoria had her ever-present strawberry pocky, hence her nickname 'Pocky-Chan'.

"Ah, Onee-San~!" She cried, shoving her stuff into Marshal's arms and glomping me. Marshal sighed and followed us to the mosaic statues on which we always sat at lunch. Surprisingly comfy for tiles and concrete. My books were willed with grass from being dropped.

"AMERICAAAAAAAAA~!" I turned to see my lovely blond friend Jessica open her arms and I rushed to hug her. "Ouch, be careful on the arms, 'Merica…" I gingerly let them go.

"FRANCEY-NEECHAN!" Victoria, Kate, Marshal and I hugged her tightly. I must admit, we looked like her harem. But we don't care, 'Cuz we're cool like that. Russia and China from before joined us shortly after. My brown hair decided to be a douche and blow all up in my face, making it very hard to be fed pocky by Pocky-Chan. Itachi rolled his eyes at us and had an involved conversation with David about who would win in a fight; Itachi or Tobi.

"No, you see, Itachi would win because Itachi is a sex God." Itachi argued.

"No, no. Tobi would. Look how far he's come! He's a freakin' genius!" David countered. Hamish and Marshal got into a Pokémon battle on their DS consoles, so they were completely disconnected from conversation.

"Hey Kiffy? Darling? Dearest?" I cooed. She gave me another look. I shot up from where I was laying and attempted to grope her.

"OMG NOOOOOOO GETS OFF ME NO NO FUCK YOOOOOUUU!" She hurried to cover her chest.

"Calm down, Kiffy. You're so fun to tease~" The guys were all rather amused by it all.

"Are you _sure _you're not lesbian?" Marshal sniggered. I gave him a fake shocked and appalled look.

"HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE SUCH A THING!" Jess laughed sweetly and fell backwards suddenly, asleep in my lap. I played with her hair.

"HOLY MOTHER FUCKER LOOK." Pocky screamed. Jess shot up from her nap from the sudden noise. We all covered our ears at the fangirl's screams of shock and delight. I looked to where she was pointing and saw a boy with raven hair and onyx eyes walking towards the main school building.

"Oh my… OH MY… IS THAT COSPLAY OR AM I…! " Kate couldn't form proper sentences. Hamish was silently mouthing the foulest curses under the sun while David and Itachi just stared. Pocky and Marshal were running towards him and Jess was having a conflicting fangirl moment.

"Should I hug him or beat the shit out of him?" She muttered furiously. I slowly walked towards Uchiha Sasuke and removed Marshal and Victoria from his confused and angry body.

"Thanks. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm… I'm… Georgia…" My voice got more and more faint. I could see Suigetsu running towards us.

"Hey Sasuke! We've- Wait, who're they?" He frowned menacingly and slung an arm over Sasuke's shoulder. _OOOOOOH MYYYYYY GOOOOOOD! FANGIRLING! _Pocky-Chan had a fangirl moment and fell to the ground dramatically.

"Right, could you show us to the principal's office?" Sasuke sighed. I nodded dumbly as the bell for next class rung.

"Georgie!" Hamish called. I waved him away.

"Tell Mr Jarvis I'll be late, okay Hammy?" He muttered something under his breath and walked away. Itachi lingered before following Kiffy, David and China to music class.

"Pocky and Marsh, go to class." I told them shakily. I was still in slight shock over the whole matter. They walked to PE sulkily which left Russia, Jess and I.

"Mm, I need to go to wood work…" Russia whined with a pained look. She hated skipping class.

"I'm staying with my sweetie!" Jess proclaimed, hugging me around my shoulders. I smiled and relaxed slightly at her comforting touch.

"Okay guys, this way. Are there any more of you?"

"Oh, Yeah, but um we got… Separated a little while back. You're school is uh, really huge." Said Suigetsu.

"I bet they're already there. This is Jess, by the way."

"HELLO."

"Oh right, hi. I'm Suigetsu and this is Sasuke."

"I know." I blurted out. They looked at me sidelong and I realised my mistake.

"How do you know?" Sasuke asked slowly.

"I mean, well… It's not that I… That's not what I meant…" I stuttered. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Right so, it's just here…" Jess said when I found myself unable to speak. A sense of cold dread seeped into me, leaving me nervous.

"Oh thanks, great. Sorry about this." Suigetsu said brightly with a razor sharp grin. Suddenly Jess let go of me and before I could turn and run, cold metal touched my throat. I let out a surprised noise and narrowed my eyes at them.

"Who's holding me right now? Jugo or Karin?" Sasuke visibly stiffened.

"How does she know us, Sasuke?" Karin asked sharply, her grip on my kunai tightened and I could feel the smallest drop of blood slide down my neck. My pulse quickened.

"I don't know yet, just wait here." He sighed wearily. He walked into the principal's office and Suigetsu closed the door behind him. I forced myself to be calm.

"Hello, Karin. How are you today?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Georgia."

"Well Georgie girl, it's none of your business." I sighed. I could see Jess out the corner of my eye now, she looked devoid of fear. I wouldn't expect her to fear a little knife. I heard commotion as I presumed my principal Ms Timbs was killed. There was a transmission-like noise from, I'm assuming to be, Karin's ear-piece.

"_Karin, is the office secure?"_

"Yes Tobi-San." Karin whispered. I almost made a noise.

"_Good. We've secured the perimeter. The school will disappear in 5. Tell Sasuke."_

"Rodger." Karin lowered the kunai and turned me around. "If you run away we'll kill you." She warned me.

"Thanks for the warning, but I wasn't planning on going anywhere." I leaned against the wall and took in the scene. Jugo was holding Jess loosely with a kunai to her throat. Karin walked into the office and when she returned, she tracked blood.

"Suigetsu always makes it so messy… Look at my new shoes…" She swore and wiped the soles of her shoes with a handkerchief.

"Should we kill them?" Jugo asked quietly.

"Nah, Suigetsu liked them, apparently." Karin looked at me. "I can't see why."

"If you're talking about my boobs I'll slap you. I will disregard the fact that I rather like you and slap you silly, woman. Don't think I won't." I warned. Karin laughed.

"Maybe Suigetsu was, but not Sasuke. He's too cool for that." She smiled at me. I smiled in return.

"You sure can pick 'em."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Oh look, my friends have come to rescue me." I mentally swore as those from earlier walked to us slowly, taking in Jugo and Karin.

"Guys, I don't think right now is a good time. Our principal just got killed, by the way." Pocky-Chan gasped and some of them looked shocked and sick.

"Who're these guys?" Karin sneered.

"These are our friends. Aren't they lovely?" Jess told her happily.

"C'mon now guys, go back to class now." I said, letting the fear show in my eyes. Itachi looked at me carefully and pulled the others away.

"Russia, apocalypse plan." Russia whimpered but ran away with Victoria and Marshal towards the woodwork classrooms. Hamish and Kate lingered but followed. Itachi and David stood their ground.

"Now now 'Tachi, don't be a hero." I said sweetly. He didn't move. "Get the fuck out of here before I make sure you never have children." He sighed and left as Karin pulled out a star. David raised his hands in surrender and walked away slowly with a ticked-off expression.

"You should have given them a proper farewell." Jugo told me.

"Why?"

"Because not many people are gonna be alive soon."

"What do you mean!"

"What's with the commotion over here?" Asked Sasuke. I glared at them.

"What's going on around here! What are you doing to my school!" Sasuke scowled.

"Suigetsu, you deal with them."

"TELL ME!" I yelled. Karin pinned my arms to my back.

"Tobi wants us to wait in some conference room. Show us the way." Jess started flipping out when she saw how I was being treated.

"Calm down or I'll break your arm." Jugo grunted.

"GET OFF MY SWEETIE, JERK!" She yelled. I shook my head and she stopped kicking. Mr Brain was in the conference room when we arrived.

"Georgia, what's going on here!" He cried in outrage,

"Sorry Duncan." I said quietly as Suigetsu swung down his massive blade. There was the smell of tangy iron around us. I felt something warm splash my cheek as Karin sat me down on a chair.

"3… 2… 1… 0." Jugo counted down and then they were there in a flurry of black and crimson.

Akatsuki.

- Red and black and slimy green -

A/N Okay this was a long and drawn out chapter, because I was trying to shove all the main characters into the first chapter. All of these are my real friends, by the way.

Kate/Kiffy is the slightly insane slightly uptight and mostly otaku one.  
Hamish/Hammy is the one that loves Batman and being odd.  
David is the pervy otaku.  
Oliver/Itachi is the mysterious guy that I still haven't met yet.  
Victoria/Pocky-Chan is the loud as all hell yaoi fangirl.  
Marshal/Marsh is the L cosplayer I met that can be COMPLETELY mental that is fabulous at drawing and editing.  
Keely/Russia is scary at first but then she's like a giant puppy.  
Stephanie/China is the amazing one that is AWESOME at cooking! :D  
Jess/France is the amazing lovely happy/sad beautiful stunning MCR/Loki fangirl of sexiness.  
And I'm… Me.

I would appreciate comments/reviews!

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


	2. Oh shit!

**It's just one of those days… 2**

A/N Well I got a good response from my friends from the last chapter. I was originally going to switch POVs around each chapter, but I don't think I know them well enough to write their opinion with confidence.

Thank you guys! I don't own Naruto!

- If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree -

I couldn't help but stare. All of them, even Sasori, stood before me. Just as I thought, they emitted an aura of malice. Of madness, of suffering. It was sickening and made my breathing unsteady. I felt like I was going to feint, but my curiosity and instinct for survival kept me in a paralysed awareness. I felt Jess next to me, laughing softly. It made me really think she was suicidal, to laugh in the face of Death.

"Who are they?" Pein asked as the blood in the air made me dizzy. I shook my head and tried to snap back into focus.

"Jess is the blond one, the brunette is Georgia." Sasuke said without emotion. My name brought me back into focus. Yes, I am Georgia. I go to school here. I am 15 years old. That is Jess. She is my friend. She is 16 years old. They are the Akatsuki. I don't know them. They don't belong here.

"Why are they here, hmm?" Deidara asked with a signature frown. His voice shook me slightly. I had a cosplay ring on my finger, the same as his. I felt its cold encircle my hand.

"Why are you here?" I heard a hollow voice ask. I registered that the voice belonged to me. This is good; I could feel emotions bubble around inside me, getting over my initial shock and replacing it with determination and fury. "Why are you here?" I asked more fiercely this time, finding strength to turn around in my chair. I wasn't restrained anymore, but even _I _knew that escape or fighting will only result in a swift death.

"We need guides. They know this place, don't they?" I was surprised that it was Jugo that said this. Pein sighed.

"Fine."

"_Why are you here_?" I asked again, feeling like it was the only reasonable and necessary thing to say. They still ignored me; instead they took seats around the conference table with us. I finally regained some sanity. "Are you seriously ignoring me right now?" Jess continued to laugh and babble My Chemical Romance lyrics and snippets of fanfictions.

"Shut up, you stupid girl." Kakuzu hissed in his gravelly voice. Hidan found us amusing, and everyone else chose to continue ignoring us. I scowled at Kakuzu but he thought me too beneath him to respond.

"… Then, I'll cut off your appendages, feed them to Zetsu, slit your skinny wrists, hang you upside-down while I skin you alive then force-feed you your eyes, causing you to choke to death on your own blood-" Jess continued her babble and I decided that the solution was to annoy them.

"Well, they really are ignoring us Jess." This snapped her out of it. She looked me cautiously in the eyes and smirked.

"Yes, that's not very nice. I need coffee." She perked up suddenly. "Can I get some coffee?" She asked the table. They continued to speak in Japanese (Therefore I could barely understand them).

"She gets super bitchy without coffee, Akatsuki." There was a slight pause were a few glanced at us.

"I will take your silence as a yes." Sasori rubbed his forehead wearily and asked Pein something in a polite tone.

"You two, shut up." He said simply. His voice sent shivers through my body.

"But all I want is coffee…" Jess whined. I suddenly bent down to the sticky red blood on the floor. I touched it and felt tears pierce my hazel eyes. Most of it was still seeping and warm, and I saw that Duncan was still slightly alive, almost dead.

"Okay then." I sat down on a dry patch of fluffy cream carpet and cradled his head in my lap. He was a friend of the family and a good friend to me as well. He couldn't speak loudly, so I told him to stop trying. The voices from the table began to falter as I started to sing. I didn't have a remarkable voice, and it sounded even worse since I was choking back sobs. I only ever sung when I was comfortable with the people around me.

"D-Deep in the meadow, under th-the willow,  
A bed of-of grass, a soft green pil-low.  
La-lay down your head, and close you-r slee-sleepy eyes,  
And when ag-again they open, th-the sun will rise

Here it-it's safe, here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every h-harm.  
Here your dr-eams are sweet and tomorrow brings th-them true,  
Here is the place where I, l-love, you…"

I couldn't keep going. I'd always been like this. If someone, however briefly I'd met them, ever died I would cry my eyes out. Duncan's eyes hazed over and I mopped my damp face with my sleeve. Jess had fallen silent now. "Why are you here?" I asked them again.

"Shut up, girl. He's dead, why do you pain yourself by holding his corpse?" Pein said with a scathing stare.

"If I told you what I was really thinking right now you'd kill me, so I won't answer that." I said with barely concealed white-hot rage.

"Can I get some coffee? C'mon dude, its literally around the corner!" Jess slumped onto the table and I could see that Pein was reaching the end of his tether.

"Whatever. It's not like you can escape." She smiled and helped me to my feet.

"Wait, I dropped my ring…" I picked it out of the blood pool and ran after her. I had seen much blood today, and I was now scared. Not for the deaths of those I knew, but the fact that I was now getting used to it. The next time I see someone killed, I probably won't even flinch.

"Are you okay 'Merica?" Jess asked as me reached a vending machine with iced drinks inside.

"Yeah, I'm just going crazy… Craz_ier_." I corrected. "What about you? You didn't freak out when you saw Mr Brain get killed." She shrugged.

"Many people die. I've seen a lot of hardships in my life, so I just add them to my mental list of misery. I mourn them in my own way; I remember them at their best. It was his time to die, as fate always had planned." She said with ease. I looked at her as she stared at the machine. "I also have no money. Wait here." She left me standing there in confusion. She came back from the office with a signed cricket bat.

"Jess, what are you-" She swung the bat into the glass and large cracks appeared. She grunted and swung again, shattering it completely. She reached inside and fished out over a dozen drinks of varying flavours and sizes.

"What are you doing…?"

"They might be thirsty?" I couldn't help but laugh. I picked up the deserted cricket bat and rested it on my shoulder as we walked calmly back to the conference room. They looked at us now, sizing us up. They must have been discussing us while we were gone.

"WE BRING COLD BEVERAGES." I told them loudly and slowly, in a condescending way. Jess dumped them on the table and claimed an iced coffee. No one went to grab one.

"It's okay, they taste pretty good. There's still some down the hall."

"She smashed the glass in with this." I informed them. Itachi sighed and selected chocolate milk, much to everyone's surprise. He opened it and sipped it cautiously.

"It's fine." He told everyone.

"See? Like we'd try and kill you. Was Akatsuki really scared of two little girls?" I sniggered. A slip of paper whizzed past my face and I felt a trickle of blood on my cheek were it must have nicked me. Konan sat impassive next to Pein and I looked away. "Note to self; don't insult the people with pointy things." I muttered. The Akatsuki took the drinks now. Tobi was having a slight spaz out from drinking guava flavoured energy drink.

"Oh crap." Jess said quietly. "I shouldn't have gotten the energy drinks." I nodded. I noticed that Duncan's body no longer lay sprawled across the ground.

"Where is he?"

"We ate him." Zetsu answered easily. I must have looked surprized, because he chuckled darkly.

"That's kinda creepy."

"At least you're not fucking crying again."

"Shut up Hidan." Jess said on impulse.

"WHAT WAS THAT, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

"CALM YO TITS HIDAN!" I yelled, slamming my hands down on the table. Instead of lethal glares I received cruel laughter. They clearly liked putting Hidan in his place.

"How do you know his name?" Kisame asked me.

"What are you talking about? She knows lots about you guys. I don't know much, but I do know your names." Jess told him. "And you look kind of like a shark."

"Don't aggravate Kisame. He has a giant pointy thing!" I scolded. I noticed curious glances.

"Oh?"

"Uh, yeah… And… About those from Konoha and Suna and Iwa and all the others…" I mumbled.

"Looks like you'll be of use to us." Sasori said with an evil smirk.

"Oh shit…" Jess whispered. Oh shit indeed. We are seriously screwed.

- Drop our anchors in a storm -

A/N Yeah, I think I just started rambling and shit… Excuse the terrible quality of this chapter.

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


	3. KOREAN JESUS

**It's just one of those days… 3**

A/N I _almost _didn't write this. Then I remembered that I have angry friends that will hurt me if I don't. So I'm just going to leave this chapter here, and pray to Korean Jesus that they don't kill me…

- You know you're not the only one, to say the boy that you, hold very close to you -

They all looked at me now; it was unnerving to say the least. "What do you know about the Konoha shinobi?" Pein asked with a smirk. It was so incredibly strange and terrifying.

"Who do you want to know about?" I tried to keep my voice level, but it was so difficult. I bet they can hear how loud my heart is beating.

"The one called… Uzumaki Naruto."

"Naruto? Are you serious?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming. "Where do I start?"

"At the beginning, naturally." Said Itachi. I rubbed my eyes and reached for my laptop bag. It turned on slowly and the Akatsuki looked on with amusement.

"What is _that_?" Asked Kisame.

"Can we eat it?" Asked Zetsu.

"No Zetsu, you can't eat my laptop." I said in a condescending way. My background finally came on (a picture of them, no less) and I clicked on the Google Chrome logo™. I typed 'Uzumaki Naruto' into Google and clicked on the Naruto Wiki page. "Okay this literally goes on forever. Is there anything in _particular _that you want to know?"

There was a slight pause. "His weaknesses." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, duh. I thought those were kinda obvious but if you insist… His weaknesses are… His lack of intelligence, his over exertion, he's dependant on the Kyuubi, he's reckless and… And he cares for everyone he meets… So you can out-last him, you can take away the Kyuubi, you can fool him and you can… Take away those he loves…" I said softly.

"Anything else?"

"Not anything of use."

"What about his strengths?" I looked at Konan over my laptop.

"That's a very good question, actually. I'm disappointed none of you guys asked that already." A kunai sailed past my head. "Stop doing that!"

"Then stop insulting us, yeah?"

"You're mean, Deidara. Fuck you." A second kunai, closer this time. "Fine, I'll shut up." I finally found what I was looking for. "His strengths… His inability to give up when faced with adversity, energy, the ability to reason with others, the Kyuubi obviously and…" I breathed. "And the will of fire."

"Is that all?"

"Nothing of importance. Anything else?"

"OH! OH! PICK TOBI! PICK TOBI!" I raised an eyebrow at the hyperactive man. "WHERE IS NARUTO RIGHT NOW?"

"Okay one; someone take away his drink." Jugo swiped it out of his hands and Tobi groaned. "Jesus Mary and Joseph I'm never giving you that stuff ever again." I leaned against my balled up fist.

"I second that; he's gone crazy."

"No he's always like that."

"Well… We're all fucked, aren't we?"

"Anyway! Right, aside from the Tobi-is-a-good-boy-on-sugar shit, that was a very good question. Judging from you guys… I'd say he's still in Konoha…"

"You know that just off the top of your head?" Asked Sasuke.

"Sure, I know where everyone is and what they're about to do. Well… That was before _you lot _turned up." I shot them a scathing look, swinging around in my chair.

"Oh really? What's Tobi doing? WHAT'S TOBI DOING?"

"Well… Let's just say… Tobi is _not _a good boy anymore…" I smiled faintly at the memory. I could see Tobi look at me now, with a special kind of loathing in his crimson eye. I just smiled at him in return.

"What do you mean?" Asked Kakuzu warily.

"Exactly what I just said. I don't feel like dying so I won't tell you. Now Leader…" I turned to him. "I want to make a deal."

"Go on."

"Well, from what I've heard, you've sealed off the school from contact with the outside world, so I'm not going to ask you to let us go." I looked at Jess for a moment. "So I want immunity for me and my friends. In exchange for information, of course." The Akatsuki started talking in hushed voices and Pein just leaned back in his chair, gazing at me, then at Jess.

"You both agree with this?"

"Well yeah." Said Jess. Pein looked at her for a moment longer before silencing the others.

"I accept. Akatsuki…" He looked slowly around his group. "If you touch these two girls or their friends there will be… _Consequences_." They all nodded and they didn't protest. "How will we know which ones are your… _Friends_?"

"Easy. I'll get them to where a florescent pink bracelet." I logged into Facebook and scrolled through my friends list, writing down all my friends names' on a piece of paper. _So there's Michael, Adrianne, Kate F, Kate L ,Kate J, Oliver, David, Jessica, Marshal, Victoria, Hamish, Keely, Stephanie, Samantha, Emily, Louis, Sarah Jane, Amy, Mikaela, Mehak, Jasmine ,Samuel, Chloe, Anastasia, Leah, Linh, Joseph, Madison and... Thomas? Nah he's a douche… I think that's everybody. I can't be too greedy, after all. That's 30, including me. _"I'll be right back, alright?" I rushed towards the art rooms before they could protest. I found some neon pink paper, scissors and glue and hurried back.

"What the fuuuuudge…?" Jess asked. I shrugged.

"BE RIGHT BACK AGAIN." I ran to the office now. "." The office lady gave me a look but switched on the speaker anyway. I cleared my throat. "Excuse the interruption to class. Could Michael, Adrianne, Kate F, Kate L ,Kate J, Oliver, David, Marshal, Victoria, Hamish, Keely, Stephanie, Samantha, Emily, Louis, Sarah Jane, Amy, Mikaela, Mehak, Jasmine, Samuel, Chloe, Anastasia, Leah, Linh, Joseph and Madison please get their asses over to the boardroom before I kick their butts from here to next Tuesday? You know who you are. Thank you." I ran back to the boardroom and collapsed into my chair.

"That was _28 fucking people_." Seethed Hidan.

"And those are just my immediate friends that I'm friends with on Facebook." They all crowded inside the room soon and I saw Kiffy burst through the crowd.

"WHAT THE HELL GREGGIE!"

"Shush, I'm saving your life here. PLEASE FORM A SINGLE FILE BITCHES." I tagged all of them with the paper bracelets one after the after. "NOW RUN AWAY BEFORE PEIN CHANGES HIS MIND." I laughed as everyone left. This is going to be fun, I think.

- A song I'd like to sing -

A/N REVIEW PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. It's kind of rushed but I don't really care right now.

ADIOS, BITCHACHOS.

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


	4. Davey Jooooones!

**It's just one of those days… Chapter 4**

A/N I'm so incredibly bored right now, but I don't feel like writing… But I'm going to anyway… I'd much rather be reading Home stuck, but whatever.

Haha Misery business by Paramore is so in your face; 'Once a whore you're nothing more I'm sorry, that'll never change', trololol.

MAKE SURE TO REVIEW YOU SEXY BASTARDS.

- It just feels so good -

"Oh my God, I just realised something!"

"What now bitch?" Hidan grumbled.

"I LOVE YOU GUYS, HOW HAVE I NOT HUGGED YOU YET!"

"Because we would _kill you_." Said Sasori slowly (try say that 3 times fast!). I frowned and leaned back in my chair.

"That's no fair." I sighed. "Well then, we'll be leaving now." I got to my feet and Jess gave me a look, but stood up anyway.

"Sit down." Said Itachi.

"Seriously? Okay dude, 1; your voice is incredibly sexy." He gave me a look of utter contempt. "2; there is literally _nothing _to do here, 3; we will continue to annoy you to no end until we get to leave." Pein looked at me silently with a scowl.

"Just leave." He growled. I smiled happily and collected my laptop.

"Okay, one last thing; tomato." And on that very strange sentence I left. My stomach made a noise that resembled a dying whale.

"I'm hungry." Jess stated simply. She had picked up the cricket bat again so we decided to go raid the school canteen. The area was strangely quiet, but in a tense way.

"Where is everyone?" I asked Jess. She shrugged.

"Remember what Itachi said? Apocalypse plan." Ah, that's right. The apocalypse plan. One day (While being fucking morons) we devised a plan for what we would do if the zombie apocalypse began while we were at school one day. Meant as a joke, obviously, but we all still remember it. It's a pretty good plan.

Go to woodwork classrooms and get pointy things.

Alert everyone in the school (evidence needed. If they don't believe us, shove one of the school sluts to the zombies and make everyone watch. Repeat when necessary).

Set up strategic camp spots where there is a mix of frightened idiots and people with pointy things to act as guards while the frightened idiots attempt to contact the police.

Gather food from cafeteria/medical supplies from the sick bay and distribute it evenly throughout the different groups.

Either wait it out/kill shit/commit suicide/make zombie documentary.

We have it written in our school diaries and everything, okay? Stop laughing at me.

"Are they serious?" I facepalmed. This was really only in case of zombies. Ninjas are a whole other ball game. "Well, everyone is cowering in terror, right? So next they'll be doing step 4." Just as I said this, I heard quiet footsteps approach Jess and I. It was Anastasia again, as well as Stephanie (China) and Linh. Stacy wielded a rather mean looking baseball bat made of what appeared to be steel. I saw the fluorescent pink paper stuck around their wrists.

"Oh, hey Georgia, Jess!" Said Linh with a small wave.

"Did Itachi put you guys up to this?" Jess stifled laughter.

"Nope, it was Dave." Said Stephanie. I was momentarily confused before I started laughing.

"OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU MEANT DAVE STRIDER FOR A SECOND THERE!" I laughed. Stephanie tried to contain her amusement but completely failed. "OKAY, OKAY, THIS IS TOTALLY NOT THE TIME TO LAUGH ABOUT HOMESTUCK." I calmed myself down. "Right, Pein might start looking for us." Stacy stared at me.

"Wait, what!"

"… You _did _see the Akatsuki sitting at the table, right?" They all shook their heads slowly at Jess. "Well, that explains why you weren't going bat-shit-cray-cray over them."

"WAIT, SO SASORI IS…?" I nodded. "AND KONAN IS…?"

"Yup."

"Oh dude what the fuck. That is _bull shit_." She looked at us in horror and I just shrugged. I slid over the bench into the kitchen and grabbed a few sandwiches.

"Do you think they want food?" I asked Linh (who kept laughing then staring at me like I was crazy).

"DUDE, DON'T TAKE ANY FOOD!" Stephanie stopped me from taking the sandwiches and scowled at me in a very non-threatening way. Probably because it was difficult to be terrified of her. "I already know you're crazy, so I'm not going to comment on the Akatsuki. But WE NEED TO DIVIDE ALL THIS FOOD INTO EQUAL PORTAINS." I pouted but didn't object.

"Akatsuki… Akatsuki… In the… Akatsuki… No zombies… Sasori…" Stacy continued to mumble to herself.

"Gurl you gone cray-cray." Said Jess, snapping her fingers in a 'Z' shape. I laughed again. Linh took me buy the shoulders and shook me.

"HOW CAN YOU BE LAUGHING IN THIS SITUATION!" This made me pause. Why was I so fine with this? I mean, these two are going ape-shit and they haven't even _seen _them yet. Am I really so desensitised to them? I don't know, I mean, I guess I'm having mood swings. Like, crying and then laughing then being serious and then I-don't-even-know-anymore… Yeah, I've probably cracked.

"BECAUSE THE STICK THAT WAS SERVING AS MY BRAIN HAS FINALLY SNAPPED." I shouted at Linh. Another figure joined us. It was Michael and he too, had a ridiculous pink bracelet. Stephanie was busy muttering things and banging around in the kitchen to notice us.

"Oh, hey Georgia! Have you seen Adrianne?" He asked quietly.

"Last I saw her you two were making out like, 5 minutes ago." He nodded distantly and looked at Anastasia and Linh, who were currently freaking out.

"Uh, what's wrong with them?" He pointed.

"De gone cray-cray girlfriend mm hmmmmm."

"Jess stop being a sassy ghetto girl and help me in here!" Stephanie yelled.

"Bitch I'm fabulous." Jess flicked her blond hair over her shoulder and skipped over to the kitchen. Michael gave me a look.

"Shouldn't we be quiet? Isn't there like, zombies or something out there?" I shook my head with a small smile.

"Nope, just ninjas." He looked at me for a moment.

"… What?"

"The Akatsuki have taken over our school and are probably going to go kill some bitches soon, so we're getting snacks." It took him a moment to process this information.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS! SASORI!" He asked me with wide eyes.

"YUP." Michael forgot all about his girlfriend (he'll pay for that when Adrianne finds him fanboying over the Akatsuki) and started freaking out. Stacy finally calmed down and turned to face me with a big grin.

"Can I meet them?" She asked me with raised eyebrows.

"ME TOO PLEASE!" Michael asked furiously. Linh just sat down at one of the many (dirty) tables and looked deep in thought.

"Um…" I looked towards Jess, who was helping China work out the exact amount that each group got. "I guess so…" They cheered and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards the staircase. I grabbed Linh on the way. "JESSI'LLBEINTHEBOARDROOMBYE."

"NO! COME BACK!" I heard her yell. All too soon we were outside the boardroom. I sighed and opened the door with Stacy, Linh and Michael trailing behind me nervously. Needless to say, nobody looked impressed.

"So um, right, I didn't know that you guys like, I don't know, hid your presence from them, so, when I said you were here, they kinda, um, flipped the fuck out? And they wanted to meet you? Because they love you? So… Please don't kill them." I shielded my friends as Pein stared at me with amusement.

"I am above caring or understanding you at this point." He sighed.

"Oh, right, you guys are from a very popular book and… Well…" They stared at me like I had reached a new level of retarded. "… They like you guys… This is a nice sentiment really, because in the book you're… All… Bad guys…" Kakuzu facepalmed while Hidan cheered; pleased that he was popular. I'm fairly certain the noise Linh made wasn't human. "So um… Yeah." Konan sighed quietly.

"Hello, I'm Konan. It's nice to meet you." She said softly. Pein raised an eyebrow. "The quicker we interact the quicker they leave." Pein grumbled something incoherent.

"Fine, I'm Leader." He sneered. I think Michael just died.

"I'm Hidan. CONVERT TO JASHINISM BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR SPLEEN." I heard Stacy laugh. Yes, she did not giggle. Stacy does not giggle, she is Anastasia; destroyer of worlds. Wow, did I seriously just think that? WELL OKAY THEN.

"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu growled. "I'll tell you my name for $10."

"And I'm Hoshigaki Kisame~ Haha, I didn't know we were popular, eh Itachi?"

"Hn…" Kisame rolled his eyes.

"I'M TOBI~! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, ISN'T HE SENPAI?" Tobi did a little dance as he asked Deidara.

"I will blow you up if you touch me, hm." He scolded Tobi. "I'm Deidara; I'll blow you up too." He warned me. I nodded solemnly.

"I'm Suigetsu." Suigetsu looked at Linh suggestively (SORRY LINH).

"I'm Karin. This is Jugo and Sasuke-Kun~" I resisted the urge to bitch slap Karin across the face.

"We are Zetsu. You look tasty." I gave him a nervous grin.

"Okay, I'm Sasori." He looked at my friends as if they were ants. Stacy finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"I, um, really like your art, Sasori." She suppressed a smile. Sasori blinked slowly, something sparked in his eyes and he smiled lazily.

"Is it better than the brat's?" Stacy turned pink.

"Well, I think so, yeah…" Deidara frowned and a vein popped on his forehead.

"FUCK NO! ART IS FLEETING, HM!" Deidara pulled out some clay and began shaping it into something. Sasori's smirk widened as he summoned a puppet.

"Oh you want to go, do you? Bring it!"

"WOOT! GO DEIDARA! ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" I cheered.

"BULLSHIT! ART IS ETERNAL!" Yelled Michael. Stacy joined Michael and Linh backed me up.

"Not this shit again." Pein muttered. "Stop you fuck-tards." They couldn't hear Pein over their trash talk.

"Fuck you, brat!"

"No, fuck _you _Danna, hm!"

"If I wanted my own comeback I would have whipped it off your mum's chin!" Yelled Sasori. Jess appeared at the door now.

"Oh no he DI-ENT!" Said Jess.

"Ooooooh!" Chorused Michael, Linh and Stacy.

"Davey Jooooones!" Deidara and Sasori stopped fighting to stare at me. "What? What did I say? "  
Jess and Stephanie joined us now. China was holding a Wok and ladle, apparently just about to cook something before she came looking for us

"_I said_…" Pein stood up menacingly. "_STOP YOU LITTLE SHITS_." There was silence in the room now. I don't like awkward silences.

"Davey Jooooones…" I said quietly, much to everyone's amusement.

"FINE, LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE, HM!" Deidara grabbed Sasori by the collar and shoved Stephanie out of the way as the busted open the door. Big mistake. I take back what I said about China not being scary. She grabbed Deidara by his (girly-ass) hair and yanked him back into the room. She swung down the Wok upon his head and kicked him in the… Vital regions… Linh loomed over him with a look that could only be described as murderous hate. She snatched the steel baseball bat from Anastasia and leaned towards him.

"You messed with the wrong country mother fucker." Deidara looked a bit scared so I pulled her away from him. Linh is a bit protective of her friends.

"DON'T HURT DEIDARA HE'S TOO SEXY TO DIE." I scolded Linh. The Akatsuki – the _criminally insane badass cool and sexy you-don't-mess-with-us-beeyotch _Akatsuki – were in absolute hysterics at this point.

"Crazy women…" Muttered Deidara as he turned pink, I'm not sure whether from the embarrassment of defeat or the presence of my pretty friends. It appeared that he had forgotten about the art dispute for now.

"You guys will be the death of me…" I laughed softly. I'm not sure if I meant that literally or metaphorically, but I knew that there would be blood.

- Oh I beg your pardon! Wasn't nonsense what we had? -

A/N I've started drinking coffee, so that's probably why this is completely cray-cray. I'm not used to going this far into a fanfiction without someone being adorable. Also, the Akatsuki are usually cooler than this, but again, I've had coffee. And medication for my cold. AT LEAST I HAVEN'T COMPLETELY LOST IT- OH LOOK, A SILVER UNICORN!

Love always,

**The 5****th**** ARISU**


	5. What is this I don't even

**It's just one of those days… 5**

A/N Yay! I'm not sick anymore! Hallelujah! Gosh I'm bored. I have no idea what's going to happen in this chapter, but I know that it'll be really freaking weird.

- And I promised myself that I would never fall in love again -

After a while, everyone settled down. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. I invited Stacy, Linh, Michael and Stephanie to join Jess and I at our end of the table. Unfortunately, Mike was still loyal to his girlfriend and set off to look for her again. Stephanie dragged Jessica back to the kitchen with her to continue food rationing, as she knew Dave and Oliver would get worried if they stayed out too long. Linh and Stacy insisted upon staying with me until Steph finished, but she won in the end and so Stacy and Linh begrudgingly left. I was alone now, with a bunch of criminally insane nut jobs.

"." I whispered furiously to myself. I don't think anyone was actually paying attention to me anymore. I suddenly got a fabulous idea and switched on my laptop again. I clicked on the Facebook icon, knowing full well that Facebook and all the other social networking sites were usually blocked at school. _Maybe the Jutsu keeping us inside the school disrupted the signal? _Unfortunately, nothing. Still as blocked as always.

"YOU ASS FUCKERS WHY WON'T YOU UN-BLOCK TUMBLR YOU LITTLE SHITS! I'LL RIP YOUR BLOODY SPLEENS OUT!" I yelled, forgetting where I was. I slammed my head into the table and lay there, motionless. I felt something prod my head. I groaned in response. They poked me again, this time in my side. I went to swat away whoever was poking me, but I felt nothing. I looked to see Tobi standing beside me, and the Akatsuki was looking at me like I was an idiot again.

"Tobi wants to know what's wrong with Georgie!" I heard humour in his voice. Instead of beating him like I suppose many people would do, I only sighed. A lot of people hated Tobi. I was definitely _not _one of those people.

"It's nothing Tobi. I just got my hopes up." My head thudded against the wood again.

"That's awful!" Tobi cried. "What happened?"

"Well, I thought that maybe the Jutsu you guys put around the school might have disrupted the internet connection, allowing me to go on… You have no idea what I'm talking about right now, do you?" Tobi shook his head no, as well as many of the Akatsuki. "Well, basically, I need to go ask the IT guys to turn off the internet filter." More confused looks.

"What the _hell _are you talking about, hm?"

"Look, does anybody have the urge to threaten defenceless people or not!" I snapped. Hidan jumped to his feet.

"Fuck yeah mother fucker! Jashin will be pleased!" That last part made me laugh. Pein eyed Hidan and I wearily.

"Hidan, you're an idiot and I'm not certain this little girl can stop you from going on a rampage." He growled. "Kakuzu, go with Hidan so he doesn't fuck up our plan."

"Why do I have to put up with those two?" Kakuzu grumbled.

"Because you're a whiney little bitch now _leave_." Pein hissed. He wasn't normally like this, I know. I put it down to sleep deprivation. Itachi sighed and stood.

"I'll go with them, leader." He said softly. I couldn't help but smile at the raven haired man. So many of my friends loved him, and I knew that he'd probably have a flock of fans by the time we reached the IT department.

"Thanks Uchiha, Hidan. We'll be back soon, promise!" I smiled cheerfully at the criminals and took my leave. Itachi walked beside me and Hidan trailed after.

"So just how many of these heathens are there? 2? 3?" Hidan asked me gleefully. I thought for a moment.

"I think about… 5."

"Fuckin' sweet." Hidan gave me a villainous grin.

"Try not to kill them." I warned Hidan. He made a face.

"Yeah sure, whatever." I walked in silence before turning to Itachi.

"How do you put up with all the obnoxious idiots, Uchiha?" I laughed. He looked at me for a moment.

"It's easy if you can control yourself; I try not to socialise." There was another pause. "What is this 'internet' we are fixing?" I looked at him again and blinked.

"You wanna know?"

"Yeah, I'm a bit confused with that too. What the fuck are we doing?" Said Hidan.

"Well… The internet is a device that allows you to connect with the World Wide Web, which is a network where all information is excisable."

"Whoa, how does all that fit inside that little book-thing of yours?"

"I'm assuming you're talking about my laptop."

"Yeah that thing."

"Because it's more of a… a search engine. That's where I found out about Akatsuki."

"Really now?" Asked Itachi.

"Yeah, I'll show you when I get the filter taken off."

"What?" I facepalmed.

"Right, the filter is something the education department puts on the internet that restricts certain things from us." I say as we enter the IT department. Hidan grunts in response. I knock once on the main door and flung it open.

"Students aren't allowed in he- what?" One of the gawkier IT guys squawked.

"Take the filter off the internet _now_." I said slowly. Another IT guy walked in holding a few mugs of coffee. He was actually rather hot.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" He cried, almost dropping the coffee.

"Did you _not _just hear me! I said _take off the education filter_." I said with malice. Hidan sneered at the cute IT guy. You may think I'm over-reacting right now, but life here will be a _lot _easier without the filter.

"We don't have the authority to-"

"_DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ME! I NOW HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO MAKE YOU TAKE THE FREAKIN' FILTER OF OKAY_! I need Tumblr!" I must have looked pretty crazy, because they moved _real _fast. Half an hour later, the filter was off, and I was _incredibly_ happy. "Thank you~!" I sang.

"Can we go now?" Itachi sighed.

"Yep, sure. Hidan? What are you doing?" I lost part of my smile as Hidan cackled menacingly. The IT guys paled at the site of him. Understandable, I suppose. I closed the door softly behind me, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stop him. Itachi and I walked down the stairs and into the school's library. I couldn't see a single librarian, so I showed Itachi around. I suspected he would be the book-worm type, and I was right. I kept him away from the graphic novel section though, as it contained the first 10 volumes of Naruto.

"It's not very big." He commented.

"Okay, that's what she said." He gave me a look. "And besides, it's nicer this way; it's cosy." He nodded slightly and continued browsing the non-fiction area. I pointed to a few books that he might be interested in. Hidan returned covered in blood a while later, just as I began to see yellow on the horizon.

"Shit, leader's gonna go ballistic." Hidan muttered. We took the books without scanning them, which made the door beeper thingy go off. Not that we actually _gave a shit_, but Itachi stabbed the devise with a kunai anyway.

"Hey, aren't we eventually going to run out of food? I mean, Stephanie has probably already distributed the food that was in the canteen… What are we gonna do?" Itachi had a rare kind of small smile on his face.

"A secret; perhaps our leader will tell you." I breathed out quietly and re-did my pony tail. I saw movement in the hall way outside the boardroom. Itachi stopped me and Hidan was still. We walked quietly towards the figures and when we were close enough, I could see their faces.

It was Oliver, Adrianne and David. Come to rescue me or something. Although, they could just have come to gawk at the very attractive Akatsuki. Either way, leader is _not _gonna be happy with me.

- Because love, isn't worth the pain… -

A/N WOW I need to sleep. And yeah, NO IDEA what's happening in this chapter!

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


	6. You guys seriously need to leave

**It's just one of those days…**

A/N I plan on making this super silly, so um… Don't… Kill me…? Psh I don't even know anymore. Honestly this story has NO definable plot. Oh God Stephanie and I were discussing this at school. I think we're both completely mental. TABLE FLIP.

Well, reviews are always appreciated. I'm having a tad off day, so I could do with some cheer.

- Okay doctor who is freaking me out right now -

Hidan and Itachi stopped but I continued on, undeterred by those in front of me. I flung my arms around Oliver and Adrianne's necks and looked through the crack in the door they were looking through.

"What're you lookin' at?"

"What th-" Adrianne bopped me on the head and Oliver shoved me away, thinking I was an Akatsuki member.

"Don't scare me like that!" David yelped. I backed up slightly with my hands raised.

"Calm down guys! Don't flip the fuck out on me Jesus!" I laughed.

"Ugh God damn Georgia." Oliver sighed. Now Itachi was at my side, staring my friends down with those scarlet eyes.

"Who, may I ask, are you?" He asked. David looked rather shocked at the sight of him. There was pause now, the kind of pause were one decides what to do in an extreme moment of crisis. Whether to attack, or to run. A deer in the headlights. They had no idea what to do now.

"You're… But you're…" Adrianne seemed to falter now, still uncertain. Her words more of an instinct to say rather than an important statement.

"Who I am has nothing to do with the fact that you three are plotting against us." Said Itachi. Hidan stood at my other side, scowling down at my friends.

"Uchiha please, these are my friends." I motioned towards the band of pink that vouched for their lives in exchange for my information. "This is uh, David, Adrianne and Oliver." I gave him a nervous smile. These people were not ones you mess with.

"Why the fuck are you shit heads here?" Hidan asked slowly. I swatted his arm gently.

"Don't call them shit heads Hidan."

"Fuck you." He pushed past my friends and into the meeting room, where absolutely no one was shocked to see them outside their door. Ninjas do that. Itachi followed him. I whipped back to face my friends with wide and angry eyes.

"_What are you doing_? _Do you want to get killed_!" I hissed. David raised his eyebrow at me.

"What, do you honestly expect us to just wait for them to kill us all?" He answered.

"Yeah! We aren't going to leave you with those crazy, albeit sexy madmen!" Adrianne said passionately.

"Wait, what did she just say about us?" Kisame asked inside the boardroom.

"SHUSH!" I yelled at everyone. "Now you three better God damn listen to me right now before I find some miracles all up in this bitch!" There was silence. "I have come to an understanding that I will help those guys because QUITE FRANKLY I'M ROOTING FOR THEM."

"Georgia-"

"SHUT UP OLIVER I'M NOT DONE." He frowned. "These guys are freaking insane, you don't think I know that! But so what! I'm completely mental! And I know that they all have a good God damned flipping reason for being so fucked up in the head!"

"THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT WE LOVE YOU." Said Adrianne. "And we are SO not leaving you alone!" She grabbed my arm.

"I'm not getting anyone else killed! Not on my watch!" Adrianne didn't let go. David put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay Adri. Let go." He said calmly, despite the situation. She obliged.

"It's okay, they won't hurt me." I said with pleading eyes. "Really, I'll be fine. I am a strong independent black woman and I don't need no man." Insert collective facepalm. I invited them to keep me company, if it would put them at ease. David and Oliver declined but Adrianne accepted. Good ol' Adri, she was actually one of the nicest girls you'll ever meet. I was a little worried about having her in the same room as an Uchiha though, let alone two of them at the same time.

"Are you serious?" Pein groaned as we sat down. I shrugged.

"What can I say? I'm popular." I joked. No really. I'm not. Seriously. Stop laughing at me.

"Honestly Leader, it's fine. They don't really affect us, if anything it's good for us to interact, see how they behave in this world." Said Konan. I think that's the most I've heard her speak.

"Tobi likes the kids! They bring Tobi delicious food!"

"Okay who keeps giving him coffee!" I snapped. They ignored me again.

"I honestly don't care." Said Sasori. "But they do amuse me." Adrianne stared at Sasori, Sasori stared at Adri.

"Sasori." She said simply.

"Yes, my retarded friend, that is Sasori." She kind of just sat there, shocked. "ANYWAY, now that I've got my precious blocked websites back, I'll be on Facebook-" There was a thump outside the window. The window was thrust open and Victoria swung-yes I _do mean _swung-into the boardroom, landing on her feet. Marshal made a far less awesome entrance. He kind of… Fell through the frame.

"WHAT could you two POSSIBLY WANT right now?" Despite my harsh words, I gave them both a warm hug.

"Onee-San, we were getting really worried and… Hot guys. Really really hot guys." She grinned mischievously.

"I actually didn't know you were here, I just wanted to see if Deidara and Sasori were making out yet." There was an intense aura of malice from behind me. "Joking, joking. Jeez, sarcasm you guys." Marshal laughed.

"That one I don't like, hm."

- I rEaLlY wAnT sOmE fEyGo RiGhT nOw -

A/N Okay, a little short this time, but whatever. At least I'm doing it. I promise something will actually happen next time! Don't kill me!

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


	7. Wait What?

A/N Haha it's me. Again. Trololol. Well, I think I'll get to the plot now.

- Weep for yourself my man; you'll never be what is in your heart -

"DEIDARA WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK?" I leapt from my chair and went to separate him and his explosives before he obliterated my young friends. He had not taken a shining to them at all, it seems.

"LET GO, YOU CRAZY WOMAN I NEED TO KILL THEM, HM!" I grabbed my trusty cricket bat and whacked him over the head.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY I AM IN COMPLEATE CONTROL OF MY MENTAL CAPACITIES THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH." His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell with a thunk onto the table. I saw blood start to run in a sluggish trickle from around the place I hit him.

Nobody moved.

Adrianne gingerly got to her feet and poked Deidara with a pen.

"Is he dead or what?" I asked. Sasori rolled him over and checked for a pulse.

"He's fine, the idiot." Sasori sighed.

"Maybe he'll wake up if his prince gives him a kiss?" Suggested Marshal. Sasori held a poison stained kunai aloft.

"I beg your pardon, young man. What was that?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about I SAID NOTHING." He answered, backing away slowly until he was cowering behind Victoria, who was staring dreamily at Itachi.

"Georgia." I turned to face leader.

"Yeah what?"

"Before, your voice emanated from the small box on the ceiling. How did you do that?"

"The say what now?" I looked up at the P.A speaker. They were all over the school. "Oh yeah, that. I spoke into the microphone thingy in the office." He nodded slowly.

"Does it transmit all around the school?"

"Yup, every room and hallway, even outside. Do you need to use it?" He nodded again. "C'mon, this way." I linked arms with Adrianne and Konan before waltzing out the door.

"Um, what are you…?" Asked Konan sheepishly.

"Nothing my dear, nothing at all." I said sunnily. Victoria jogged up to us and took Adri's other arm.

"This way, my dear leader." I called back at Pein, who had adopted a look of amusement. Just down the hall was the office. It seems no one had bothered to save those that worked there from the raving lunatics that want to make everyone brainless mushy fuck heads. There was a skinny figure waiting outside the office already.

"Oh great, it's Vivian." Victoria wrinkled her nose in disgust, as if she had just smelt rotten eggs covered in black liquorish.

"Feel free to, you know, satisfy your bloodlust or whatever." Said Adri.

"Oh, hey." Said Vivian, who looked at us as if we were dog crap on her precious little shoes.

"Vivian, darling, a pleasure as always." I smiled. Her expression morphed into that of confusion.

"Aren't you a little old to be linking arms or whatever?" She sneered.

"Aren't you a little young to have a kid? Or be sexually active, for that matter." I continued to smile as I leaned in to take the microphone thingamajiggy. She gasped in indignation and went to slap me as I straightened up with the microphone in hand. I leaned back to avoid her swipe (hell; those fake nails would have done more damage than that pussy slap, but still) and whacked her in the gut with my cricket bat.

"Ah!" Victoria clasped a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out in shock. Adrianne, on the other hand, kicked Vivian in the side. She crumpled to the ground in pain.

"Leader?" I offered him the thingamabob. He didn't seem to care that I had just bashed the rather skanky looking Sheila at all.

"Hello people of this school complex, I am Pein, the leader of the Akatsuki. We are now under control of you all. If you do not cooperate, we _will_destroy you. At sundown tonight, everyone is to report to the front assembly hall. Fail to do this and I will personally hunt every single one of you, pull out your fingernails and tear out your spleen." He finished abruptly on that disturbing, yet firm statement. I snatched the whatsamajigger from him.

"Also; the internet has been hijacked. Feel free to Facebook your loved ones, or live blog your horrendous torture on Tumblr. You all disgust me and I hope Satan fucks you up the ass with a pineapple."

Silence.

"Joking aside, don't keep the scary ginger waiting. Love always bitches." I clicked the off button and returned the thingamawhatsit to the rather pale and horrified office lady. "Thank you miss."

"Well then…" Said Konan. "You're all a bit… Strange."

"I know! Isn't it splendiferous?" I chirped. I saw a familiar figure around the corner. No wait… Two of them. Hamish and, yet again, Michael!

"MIKEY OH MY FUCK!" Adrianne ran (more like sprinted) towards her long standing boyfriend.

"ADRI OH GOD I FOUND YOU!" He laughed happily and they hugged and it was so adorable.

"Hahaha oh God I'm going to just move to Antarctica with 25 cats because I'm SO FUCKING ALONE." I flipped off the cute couple as my happiness disappeared. Stupid friends and their stupid happiness. Michael and Adrianne proceeded to make out. Oh what a surprise.

"How indecent…" Konan muttered, turning a light pink.

"Yeah they tend to do that. Mostly at inappropriate times." Said Hamish. Pein just looked bored.

"Onee-San? Onee-San?" I looked down at Victoria.

"Wassup?"

"Are you a part of the Akatsuki now or what?" This made me pause. Well, was I? I have no idea, to be perfectly honest. Hell, I'm still confused as to why Suigetsu, Jugo, Karin and Sasuke are here. And why Sasori AND Tobi are here.

"Oi Pein, Imouto-Chan wants to know if I'm in the Akatsuki or not."

"Hm? Yeah, I believe so. Only if you want to be, I don't really give a fuck." He said airily. We collected the rest of the cray-cray nut jobs and headed to the assembly hall.

Everyone was there.

Not a single soul dared defy us.

"Ahoy there!" I waved at the crowd. They looked confused as to why I was there. "Leader wants a word with you!" I stepped aside to let Pein speak.

"We have come here with a sole purpose. This area has the most concentrated amount of power in your world, no other one spot has as much strength. We want one thing; to take over this world, and then, take over ours. This world is weak, and easy to rule. But ours takes strength to control. We need soldiers, and you will be those soldiers. But only the strong will survive, if you don't believe you can become one of us, then please step forward." No one moved. No one breathed. They were so scared, you could cut the tension with a knife.

Finally, one stepped forward, just one.

It was a girl, she was from my English class. I can't remember her name though. A forgettable face, and a forgettable name.

"I don't want to kill anybody. Please just… Just let me go…" She said quietly. Pein looked down grimly at her.

"Georgia, as the newest Akatsuki member, I order you to kill her." I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then I heard myself speak.

"I'm sorry, crazy ginger man say what?"

- Can't pay my rent, cuz all my money's spent -

A/N I hope this didn't suck as much as I think it did. SORRY. JUST… SORRY.

Love always,

**The 5****TH**** ARISU**


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